Wednesday, May 03, 2006

I think I've decided that sports and I just don't get along. I really don't think there's a single sport that I've found that I'm actually good at, and very few that I can get by at.

I did play tennis for two years in high school, but the truth of the matter was that anyone who wanted to play tennis at our HS could. There were always exactly 10 girls on the team. This is just enough for 1st-4th singles, and 1st-3rd doubles. Anyone wanna take a wild guess at what I played? :) (*)

My parents had us play sports when we were growing up, and I sucked at those too. I would stand in the outfield during softball, and draw in the dirt with my toe. If I heard the crack of the bat hitting the ball that signified it was going for the outfield, I panicked. (Interestingly, I can still identify that crack of bat hitting ball.)

In soccer, I was almost always on the back line... whatever they call that... the one time they let me play forward, I started kicking the ball in the wrong direction. No, I'm not kidding. (In my defense, it was right after halftime, and we had just switched directions.)

There was also the time that I got hit in the back with a thrown kickball, and fell down. That sucked. There was the other time when the boys were playing kickball, and the girls were standing around DEEP in the outfield. One of the girls yelled "BALL," which meant scatter like bunnies. I stood still, thinking there was no chance in hell it would hit me. Apparently, that is the definition of "no chance in hell."

So yeah, I think from here on out, I'm gonna stick with the whole spectating thing. Cuz even sports that aren't really sports, like bowling and golf are kicking my ass. We went to the driving range last night, which I knew would be comedic. It's also hurty. After hitting something like 30 golf balls, and missing at least that many times, if not more, my right shoulder is telling me that it hates me and never wants to speak to me again.


(*) Third doubles, for those who were wondering. This means that you're playing with a partner to help you not miss the ball, and that you're the worst of the partner pairs, as well.

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